Evil genie forum game

[Torvallis!]

Rules are simple: you're an evil genie granting the wish of the previous poster. After you grant it, you make a wish. Try not to subvert a wish in a way that's been done already. (Killing loved ones gets old quick)

Anyone need more of an explanation?

I'll start:

I wish I had a well-paying job

[Horns]

Granted, but I've got no idea why you'd want to spend your days paying wells. They really have no need for currency. They probably appreciate the gesture, though. Oh, and you're going to have to pay them out of your own money.

I wish that I didn't have to write exams.

[Ivy]

If you'd rather recite your exams orally, that's fine by me. Wish granted.

I wish that I could summon full bottles of Bailey's Irish Cream at-will.

[Torvallis!]

What did Will ever do to you? Why do you want to waste bottles of Bailey's at him? That's just going to create a sticky, smelly mess, nevermind the broken glass.

I wish I had a bag of unlimited flour

[Horns]

Granted, but the bag is sealed and impossible to open.

I wish that I was never tired.

[Torvallis!]

Every vehicle you drive or operate will immediately lose any tires it has.

I wish I could afford good food

[ValerieTheHuntress]

Every vehicle you drive or operate will immediately lose any tires it has.

I wish I could afford good food

Good food granted! Just visit The Watering Hole!

Although I do wish this amnesia would go away so I could remember what trade goods I lost when I boot crashed ashore, in the lake nearest Holdfast.

[Bikbun Ironbones]

"Wishing the amnesia away? Funny, that was your first wish too... Your second being to wish the amnesia back. Well, as you wish..."

I wish there were more hours in the day for sleeping

[Torvallis!]

Well, all the people in the country with insomnia have been sent away to gulags now so that 14 hours of mandatory sleep could be instituted.

I hope you're happy.

I wish for a huge 40L bucket of ice cream

[Malva]

You get cream that's just been frozen into one 40L icy block.

I want cake.

[Borin Ironhammer]

You have now been locked in an aperture science testing facility. The robot lady said there will be cake.

I wish could have the day off.

[Torvallis!]

Well of course you do, no one wants someone with explosive diarrhoea working behind the counter!

I wish this rulebook could write itself!

[Bikbun Ironbones]

T̞͈̩̪̺̘͙͍͉͔̖̼̬͓͖͈̱̜ͫ̔̎̄̋̀͡h̶̡̨̠̤̖͇̫̩͗͐͊ͪͪ̌ͧ̽͌ͫͨ̌̾̓̿̆ͣ́e̶̛̜̘͍̣̭̠̣ͯ̋̎̈́̄̾͑͆́̌̔ͭ̚ ͧ̎ͣͨ̐́̏͆͗ͫ̈́ͣ̉̒̀̚͡͏̥̣̙̤͚̤̺͈͉͓̟̮̭̗̀r̷̨̨̹̰̻̖̘͕̤̗͚̦͚̃͂͒ͬ̊͟͞u̝̬͍̥̠̭̦̻̦͍̰̝̟͙̣͍̺̼ͣͯ̏̊ͪ̇͐͒̑͊ͪ̓ͥͮͯͪͫ̀͢͡l̸̩͓̬̜͍̠͕͖͙̞̺̯͓̠̲̙̤͆͐ͣ̋͆̑̉̓̓ͧ̂͒̓̎̋ͫͪ̕͘͜͡ͅe̵̘̺̗͚̩̜̼͙̥̮̣͙͖̳̭̩͙͕͑̓ͥ̎́͋ͭ̀ͩ͐ͨ̽ͧ̔ͣ́̉̚͡͡b̴̰̤̩̙̻̻͍̫̝̖͈͉͖͍̔ͫͬͦ̌̿͒ͪ̅̕͟͢ͅo̴̊́ͮ́̏́̂ͣ̋̅̌ͭ̉͂̈́͒́̏̚̕͝҉̦͈̩̹́ơ̷̵̷̜̱̫̺̞̓ͭ͊̉̔̆̏͆͡k͊ͬͦ͑͗͐҉͍͖̻̦̺͔̖͖̣̝̬ ̴̰̙̰̬̳̎̅̌͂ͫ̿͗̀̈ͩ̓̈́͊͘ņ̵̛̤̳̫͚̣̺̩̣̯̹̙̮ͣͨ͌̂o̷͍̼̻͉̰̰̹̺̯͖̲̤̮̮͇͉͙̻̓̀̓̈̌ͤ̒̇́͢͞w̵̷̪̝̦̐̃̐̔ͤ̃̚͝ͅ ̫̯͖̳̦͖̬͔̖̱̪̲̪̃̇̊̍ͫͪͩ͡ͅw̴̵̧̻̱̰̞̦̍̇̉ͤͭ͒̇͞r̛͔̰̞̤̦̖͓̱̖̪̺̙̥̻̞̆ͨ͛ͯͪ̋̓̑̿͗ͬ̔̉̓̐̚͢ͅi̒ͧ̆̋̍̔ͫͤ͋͂͂͗̂ͣ̽̄͛̚҉̴̲̲̖̲͝͠t̢̪̦̞̰̝͕͚̙̳̤̱̳̱̪̘̅̒̇̓̈́͒ͣͬ͛̅͗̄̚̕e̐ͦ̑ͦ̀̐̋̓ͦͪ҉̹̮͎̘̤͈͈̩͍̯̻̱̥̟͇͠s̷̠̟̪͚̱̅̆ͭ̈́ͨ͐̓͐̏̐ͤ̾͗̅͂̚͜͝ͅ ̶ͧ́̈̔͗̀͒̿̌͑ͭ̔̐͒ͧ͛͗̐҉̣̦͙̙͇͙̘͎̪͓͖ĩ̸ͪͪͣ̐ͩ͆̿̀́͐ͮ̇́͏̜̮̦̟̖̹̺̞̪̣̗͉̺͔̥̠̕ͅt̡̡͙̳̩͓̣͍̘͚͇̟͉̗͙̖͎ͪ̑̄̊̀̓̆ͅs̡̨̹̩͙̟͔̙͍̣̯͍̥̗̻̻̗̹̠ͮ̍ͣ̅̐̓ͭͭ̔̅̇ͧͨ̚͡ͅḙ̢̢̥̻̯̮̖͎͈͈͔̺͓̎ͥͦ̉͟͝ͅl̴̷ͣ̋ͣͫ̆̏̅̊̍͂͒͆̎͟҉̡̱̭̖̝̟͚̤̬̲̙̣̣̣̘͕̗̰͖f̲̜̝̭̪͙̟̥̲̯̱̯̠̗̞̫̜̄̀ͥͫ̋̽ͫ̂́̓̉̔̾̒̕͟,̨͙̦͈̪̮̫̖̪̠̘̖̮̼̺̲̍̽̍̏͒̓ͣ̀͘̕ ͑̇̃̅ͬ̆̄ͩ̍̽̽̍ͩ̃͋͂͗͐̆͏̧̥̯͔̱̜͖͎̥͝ḃͯ̒ͨ̎̈ͧ̃ͨ̐̆̔̇̾҉͏̙̭̪̹̝̠̜͈͈̩̳̞͓̲̭͔̻̗̤͡͠ư̾̉ͮ͊ͫ́̿ͮͩ̋ͬ̽̊̈ͥ͐ͮ́͏̟̜̖͍̝̟̦͔̪̙̦t̶̨̅́̊ͩ̊ͬͫ̒̌ͬ̋̃ͦ͏͏̬̥̥͈͕̞̫̪̳̘ͅ ̴̱̻̭̱̭̠̤͉͓̼͚̭̟͚͉̼ͫ̿ͧ͗̒̋̀͘į̻̞̜͈ͮ̉ͧͤ́̉̔͆̌̃ͨ̅͒̊̅ͮ̈́͡t̝̘̯̣̦͈̩̳͕̘̟͇͉̥̹̭̘̟̱̉̿ͣͭ̂̔̄̄ͬ̂ͤ̓̽͐̔̉ͨ͘͜͡ ̢̻̯̭̹͉̮̰̦̬̦̜̱͚̫͎̤͗ͤ͊ͮ͛̓̿ͤͦ͒ͪ̎̍ͥͬ̊̉̃̚͞i͉̻̼̼͎̣͙͔͉͇̦͎͌ͧͬ͗̉̒ͣͫͯ͌͟͝s̃̑͛͗̕͏͇͍̟̫͉͉͉̞̬̤̲͍ ̸̶͖͎̱̳̻̤̙̲̠ͫ̉ͪ̒͐̀͢͟iͬ̾͂ͬ̀͞҉̻̺͕̲̺̺̗̙̜̦͉͚̝̦n̷ͪ̅̅̌̈́ͫ̎̇̌̋̃́̌ͣ̽̀͢҉̱̜̦̝̼̱̯̣͇̫̮̻̯̙̭ ̴̵̻̟̺̫͈͍̤̺̣͇ͯͥ̓̈̈́͒͢a̪͙̙̻̣̫͍̪͓̰̳̣͙͙͌ͮ̽̽̋͌͊͋̔̍̌̽̽̄̓̿ͦ̾́̕͠n̴͇̞̼͎̹̩̼̩̭̼̓͆̋ͬͣ̀̕̕͜ͅ ̡͕̻̖͇͚̎͐ͤͤͫ͆͌̃͗̑̄͛ͨ̅ͪ̚͟e̓̏̋̈̊ͨ͊̌̉͒ͫ͛͐́͑ͥ̄̍҉̫͉̙̼̫̬̜̻͈̱͓l̀̓͊ͩ͆̅҉̡̻̮̤̞̼̩̦̠̣̳̥̘͔͍̝d̨̯̮̪̩̖̼ͣ̄̏͛͂̿̈̅͂ͬ̇͜ŗ̵̵̡̦̠̳̘̖̩̝͕͓̖͙̼͉͇̌̔ͬ̑̕į̸̴̴̢̭̺͔̻̳̳̭̱̳̳̩ͣ̓͗̒͋̽̽̀̃̎ͣ̽ͩṫ̷̵̨͔͔͉̱̹̟̩͙͖͓͎̹ͥͨ̓ͬ͗͌̇̽ͨ͑͟ͅc̴̶̜̪̝̝̘̥͈̰̊͊̒̋̿̇̈́͊́͡h̷̗̭̤͖̮̖̪̥̲̹̻̣͉͓̭͔̿̌͆͐̒̑̀ ͥͫ͌ͤͪͦ͐̒̈̊̚҉̳̞̖̞̯̮a̵̵̶̡̲̩̹̝͚̺͙̤͎͆̑͆ͯͥ̃ͤ̔̈n̶̴̰͈͔̫̠̱͔͖̘̖̫̜̻̆͋ͤ̈́̐̃́͢d̩̞̜̣̦̣̻̭̖̙̦̪̮ͩͩ͆̽ͭͥ̓ͬ͘ͅͅ ̨̻̤̖͇͈̫̱̻̣̦̳͔̹̺̼̟̍ͤ̐̔͂̃̿̅̉͢ų̛͈̭͉̺͚͖̦̯̥̈̌̇̀͋̽̎ͧ̈ͩ̓ͬ͛̈ͫ̋̽̚͢͟ͅͅͅn̸̡̠̗͓̘͉ͩ̒͐̓ͬ̌̿͆̊͂̋̚͡͝d̸̲̣͓͈̟̮͚̫͓͚̺̥̤͒̽̈ͪ̾̒̆͌̏̊ͣ̽͑͢e͌ͬͫͭ͑̐̄ͨ̊̂̋̽͗̚͏̖̠̳͕̩̰̀ͅcͩͮ̋ͪͭ̐̋͗̓̓̆͏̵̶͔͕͈̖͙̻͍̰͢iͥͭͬ͗͛̄͛ͭ͢͞҉̟̪͍̲͖̟̹̭̤͕p̴̣͈̤̬̣̜͙͔̪̣͕̮ͩ̆̏̾ͤ̾͋̌̉͆ͪ̄̏ḩ̨̩̫͔͔̩͕̹̝̬̻̲̳͕̪͓̭͇͕̀ͬ̏̉̅̈́ͩ͊̽̿ͭ̉͢͞͝ẽ͂ͤͪ̔͌̓̀̎̊͆̇ͬ̔ͣ͒͂̚҉̵̭͈̻̥́͡r̢̃̓ͩ̈̎̊̿̉̄͑͂ͩ͂͊҉̤̹͕̳͇̖̘̮̻̝̮̫̱̰͔͜ą̨̩͈̺͚̬ͬͨͤ́̔͝b͓̝̞̯͕̺̰͖͗̎͛̀͜͠l̶̨̛̬͖͎̺͆̏ͬͧ͒ͯ̑̄̀͠e̶̓̒́̀̀͛̏ͬ̃ͦͭ͊͊̐ͬ͋҉̮̭̟̮͔̜̮̖̗̖̟̤̥͝͞ ̵̥̗̳͙͇̝̼̱̭͇̗͓̖̺̳͔͐̇ͯ̃ͤ̆ͥ̀͘͘͢t̊́͑̀ͪ̇̓ͯ̽͒ͧ̓̄͌̚̚̚͘҉̧̺̞̪̤̤̰͖͎̗̣͎ȩ̶̞̪͓̭̺̣̞͎̰̈́ͫͪͩ͊̐ͬͪ̀̆͌̇ͬͅx̢̧̣̱͎̺̫͚̼̊̊ͨ̊ͥţ͌̈̃͐̉ͩ́͝͡͏̥̦̥͚͎͔͉̼̬͔͍.̴̹̝̳̯̰̣̪̾̐͛̇ͩ̄͌̚̕͜͠ ̽ͣ͑ͭ̀͆̈́̃ͨͯ͏̡̻͉̼͓̯̳̗̩̭̖͈̝̯̹̭ͅHͨͫͥ́̒͌́̎̌͏̖͇̘͔͖͇͓͈͕E̬̹̝̭̩̥̮͚͓ͣ̅͂̃̎̐͞ ̻̤͈͎̫͓͔̯͇͙̙͕͍͓ͯ̂ͯͨ̔͐ͭ̉̀̀͞͡C̷̓͗̋̆̋̓̃̇͛̎ͫ͋͛҉̳͉̼̗̞̼͢O̷͚̣̲̥͚̜͉̩̳̻͎̺̖͌͊͛ͨͤ̌ͧͨͦ̈̍̿̒ͫ͘͘͠M̵̶̪̘̺̲̙͚̠͔̞̍̾̈́͊͑͊ͭͧ̊̇͂̋ͦͨͩ̓ͧ́͘͘ͅE̵̿̇̉ͯ̐͟͜҉̜͙̱͎̩̣͚̖̳̠̞͉̱̰̱̘ͅͅS̖͙͎͔̗͙͙͔͐͒ͨ̀̓͐͡͝!͋̑ͧ͐̄̓͟҉̷̢̠̺̮̼͍͕̖̰͓̞̗̼̼̞




I wish I required less food to survive on a normal day-to-day basis

[Zar/Herr]

Congratulations! You're now an inanimate object!

I wish i could do anything without consequence

[Torvallis!]

You are now capable of doing everything of no consequence! Anything that has a consequence, you are now unable to do . . . like breathing.

I wish Jake was no longer an inanimate object

[Borin Ironhammer]

Jake is now going around making puns again.

I wish money counted itself.

[ValerieTheHuntress]

money counting itself means this merchant makes quite a bit of money.

I honestly wish I understood how this whole flirting thing worked, because I sucked at humaning and socializing XD

[Bikbun Ironbones]

Jake is now going around making puns again.

Christian wins this thread. Everyone else can go home now XD

[Lady Val]

Aww dang it I came too late

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